Dear Mr. Willliam Cruess:
This has absolutely nothing to do with Pool, Poker or Anime, but just as important in my mind. Growing up, there were a few things that were just the greatest things to eat in my world. I'll list them in order of priority:
1. Grilled Cheese
2. Lucky Charms
3. Fruit Cocktail
4. Jello with Fruit Cocktail
5. Hamburger Helper
6. Manwich
7. Macaroni and Cheese
8. Ice Cream
9. Pop Ice
10. Red Grapes (seedless)
In the present, I would still be completely content with living off of the above items. Heh, In fact, that's still pretty much what I consume. Good times.
Here comes the story. Friday I was longing for fruit cocktail, a beautiful mixture of peaches, pears, pineapples, grapes, pears and cherries (although there are never enough cherries) - more than I ever have. I hadn't been feeling well the past few days, so my appetite was pretty non existant, but it started coming back that night. I didn't want anything but fruit cocktail - the only thing that will satisfy me. I went to HEB on my quest to get a few cans. As I'm looking for the cans, I notice the 106oz can that is 6lbs. O my! I think I'm in heaven -- I'm not at Sam's or Costco, but HEB and they have this gargantuan can!! I quickly grab it and travel my way to the checkout line with my one can of Fruit Cocktail. It's 6 lbs (which felt like 15 lbs because I have no energy), but so worth it in my mind.
I drive home with my head pounding and about to fall asleep at the wheel. I put the can on the counter, pull out the faithful ol' can opener and guess what? It won't open the can!! It's one of those cheap hand can openers and it just bends. Ok, here's the issue...I haven't eaten much in the past two days and my heart was set on this. Ok, no problem - look for solution #2. I grab a knife and hammer and try and repeatedly pound holes in the can. Um, this is not happening either - not working. Now I have a few punctures on the lid, and 10 minutes later come to grips that it's not working. A drill might work, but I have no drill. I could drive up to the local Walmart to buy a heavy duty can opener, but by this time I'm too exhausted to drive and in pajamas. No energy to get dressed and drive up there - sad, eh? But true.
How did people open cans before the can openers were invented (can openers were invented about 50 years after canned items). Just like I attempted to do...with a hammer and a chisel (but i subsituted a knife). No drill...no chisel. Not prepared.
So what's for dinner? I've got ice cream (with chocolate syrup and whipped cream) for dinner and for dessert, Lucky Charms. That's dinner - you can't go wrong with that.
BTW: Are you wondering who Mr. Cruess is? Yep, Founder of Fruit Cocktail. Obviously he was a good man. *smiles*
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2 comments:
Well, it's the next day now. Did you ever get into your can? Inquiring minds wanna know!
And to answer your question about how people opened cans back in the old days, the can opener of choice was just a little knife-like thing that had a handle on it. It's called the P38 Can Opener. You'd hook it on the edge and then tild downward, and it would cut into the can part. Then you rotate it a little further down, like, 1/2 inch, and do it again.
Then you keep tilting it down all the way around the edge. It takes, oh, about 25-30 tiltings to open the can, and the edge is very sharp and jagged, so watch your fingers.
http://www.olive-drab.com/od_rations_p38.php has more info about it.
A lot of modern can openers have something like it on the edge so you can use it manually. My Victorinox Swisstool that I keep on my belt has a P-38 module on it.
http://www.swissknifeshop.co.uk/victorinox_swisstool.html
No, never got in the can. I don't have one of those fancy Swisstool Multitool things, but now I want one...really bad. I don't need to invest $60.00 just to open the can, but I can see getting a return on investment (with all the little freatures it has) over the next year with the way I consume fruit cocktail.
Thanks for asking - see, these things are what's big in my world. Yep, things like fruit cocktail. I don't want fruit. I don't want a cocktail. I do want fruit cocktail. *sigh*
Another option is to take it to the closest restaurant. They have the super duper industrial can openers that mount to the table.
Oh, and is 25 - 30 of the indents enough to open the 6lb can? Or is that for the common 16 oz can?
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