HEB Plus has a Poker Aisle!

There are poker tables, nice clay poker chips, poker pictures, poker shirts, poker cards, poker books, and poker dishware!

First things first, I’m not so keen on the “Plus”. I will prolly be calling the 1-800-HEB-PLUS line to suggest a possible name change. I wonder how many calls they get a day on their hotline number and what they do when they are not getting calls.

My suggestions:

HEB Ultimate
HEB 9th Degree (rhymes)
HEB Extra
HEB Gargantuan
HEB Mungo
HEB Planetary (love the rhyming)
HEB Colossal

For those of you that know me, you know I would never step into a grocery store at my own will. I have always supported the local restaurant community and do my part to eat out as much as possible. Some call me lazy since I never cook, I say it’s efficient.

I get an IM at 8:45pm from Laura. She asked me what I’m doing on a Saturday night, and I think for a moment and then reply, “not sure yet, but leaving work in 15 minutes.” She replies back and invites me to go to HEB Plus. I’m assuming she detected a bit of hesitation in my reply, so she tells me, “It will be just like Wally World!” Well, walking into a grocery store at 9:30pm at night sounds like an adventure for me, so why not. Yes, she sold me…I’m sold!

So Laura, Jeremy and me hop in his car and we take a road trip to HEB Plus on Hwy 79 and IH35 at 9:56pm. Jeremy is driving prolly 93 miles an hour. Obviously, he was the most excited of us three to get there. We get there in 6 minutes flat when it’s a 14 minute drive. Amazing. Here’s where it gets good. We pull up to this 19,000 square ft bldg at 10:02pm and the parking lot is FULL! What no lifers are hanging out in a grocery store at 10:00pm on a Saturday night. I just didn’t get it.

This place is grand! It has everything under one roof. Let’s wander over to each section of the store.

Produce:
The produce section is massive. They even had grapples. For those who know what grapples are, you understand my excitement right now. I haven’t even seen most of the produce and fruit before – they are from another world.

Seafood:
The gentlemen behind the seafood counter have wireless mics on, so everyone can hear them talk about the fish they have for sale. This mungo, ultimate king crab is tossed in the air - $107.00 bucks and the crab is ours. Gonna pass this time – don’t have the pot to cook that thing. Then they show everyone this colossal fish that has teeth. Alright, we loose are appetite to see a fish with teeth staring at us. Let’s move on.

Olive and Cheese section (It’s own little area):
I hate olives – yelch. But Laura and Jeremy like olives and they know everything about olives. I say they are round things that taste like rubber. They pick up a fancy little container and put in 9 garlic olives and seal. Moving on….

Meat Section:
Ok, looks like the normal meat area. While they are checking out the red meat, I wonder over to the next aisle. Whoa! Vitamins galore to the 9th degree – I pick up some healthy, natural pills that are to be chewed…hmm…prolly not very tasty. But whalaa…it’s in liquid form. Don’t really need it, but i’m getting it. Moving on….

Normal aisles:
Typical grocery items, but an excessive variety of everything. If you are a cookie lover, there are prolly 4,000 different kinds to choose from. I kid you not.

We peek around a corner after trotting up and down aisles and see a glowing area. Yep, this ultimate array of video games, movies, and dvds. It’s a mini blockbuster, but instead it’s an HEB buster.
Ooooh, anime movies right up front. I pick up three of them and Laura finds Pretty in Pink also! We go to check out (you must check out those items in the back area) and her movie is 5.99. Mine totaled 59.00 bucks. What the heck – Anime needs to go down in price! Grrrrrrrrr. They are worth it though. My thought, Laura’s gonna have to sit through an hour and ½ anime flick! Ha!

Next Area – Books:
Oodlees and oodle of books. Some at 50% off, some at 25% off - oodles of books. I find a great little treasure of a book for $1.99 + it had an extra 25% off sticker which only made this rare find $1.59. *winks*

Um, Gotta back up to the Jelly Bellys area:
Every flavor you can think of. It takes time to find the perfect mix of Jelly Bellys. So here I go, sampling all of em’. Mmmmm…*rubs tummy*. I get ½ lb and Laura and Jer get ¼ lb. I prolly at ½ lb while I was in there too. Shhhh. But if you do go there, help yourself to tasting each one – they aren’t watching you and the mark up on those jelly beans account for people like us dabbling and sampling. *giggles*

Cosmetic Area:
Typical stuff that I won’t bore you with. Ok, I’m still looking for the rides like Wally World and I see nothing. Think I have been conned here. Just as that though crossed my mind, I looked over and see a blood pressure machine. A brand new one, not one that millions of people have used – this smells new. We all take our blood pressure – how exciting is this. Ok, that was fun. We stroll over to this planetary aisle across the way from the blood pressure machine. I can’t really say what items were in aisle, but let me tell you that you will never have to walk into an adult toy store ever again. It’s all right there! Note to manager: Put up a “Must be over 18 sign”.

Ok, let’s keep walking. There’s a mini furniture section. They sell beds, bunk beds, living room sets (just one choice though), chairs, end tables…you name it. Look to your right, and there is a complete home décor section. You can find bedding, normal pillows, wall paintings, lamps, lighting fixtures, soooooft fluffy pillows….etc.

It’s now midnight. We have been walking around for two hours and haven’t even been down all the aisles. I gotta go back. BTW: They have this new HEB Points Club Card where you get points for every dollar you spend. Each quarter they will send you cash redeemers that you can use to buy groceries, gas, or whatever you desire. You get 5,000 points just for signing up! The low down, for every 1,000 points you get 1.00 back. So just for signing up, you have accrued 5 bucks. I’m going back in 3 months to redeem my 5 bucks on more Jelly Bellys.

I was pleasantly surprised with the overall experience. Thanks Laura for planning this excursion for us! Whew, we are exhausted and pop in the pizza and sit down to watch Grave of the Fireflies. (Laura’s first anime experience…*smiles*). I look over 22 minutes later, she’s out cold. She missed the movie! It’s still sitting in the DVD player for her to enjoy later.

I even bought some groceries and kept the receipt to prove it.

My Groceries:
Jelly Bellys - .60lb
HEB Cool Wave Fruit Punch
Strawberry Cheese Coffee Cake
Digiorno Spinach Mushroom High Rising Pizza
Chocolate Cake with a light Mousse Topping
Moisturizer
Bargain Book about Poker
Shimmer lip coffee color lip gloss
That liquid vitamin stuff (cool bottle)
One Emery Board
Sandies Fruit Delight Strawberry cookies

Final comment: HEB Plus doesn’t really have a poker section. They should think about having one *winks*